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Someone recently asked me, “What is conviction?”

Thankfully I had just taken a bite of my Hawaiian chicken sandwich, so I had about 20 seconds (or 30 bites + 2 sips of Diet Coke) to craft an answer to this loaded question.

Of course there is no simple answer, but as our conversation progressed, the definition that emerged is that conviction is something that we will lay everything down for, and is based on core values that we will not compromise, no matter what the cost or consequence. We also discussed how convictions are meant to be tested, and will undoubtedly be tested.

Since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting on the various times that God challenged me to follow ‘conviction’ over the years, whether it was decisions about my major, church, career, city of residence, family,
relationships, or future. I began to notice that there’s a clear pattern that emerges, almost without fail, each time there is a new conviction. I’ve outlined this pattern below, and I’ve called it the Life Cycle of Conviction.

The Life Cycle of Conviction
Phase 1: Conviction^1 - A conviction is born, accepted, and embraced.
Phase 2: Calm - Everything is smooth sailing: the skies are blue, the grass
is green, the waves are gently lapping against the shore. Life is
peachy.
Phase 3: Chaos - Suddenly, without warning, the storm clouds
roll in. This phase may look different for everyone: it may come in the
form of uncontrollable circumstances, interrogations from family,
criticisms from friends, etc.
Phase 4: Confusion - In the midst of Chaos, the conviction that was
conceived in Phase 1 is questioned: was it a lapse of judgment, an
emotional outburst, a product of brainwashing?
Phase 5: Conviction^2 - Conviction that survives through Chaos and Confusion reemerges: deepened, purified, strengthened.

The funny thing is, we tend to get surprised by Phase 3: Chaos, which is why we find ourselves wandering into Phase 4: Confusion. As I was thinking about this Life Cycle of Conviction, though, I realized that Phase 3: Chaos shouldn’t be such a surprise.

The Apostle James writes about this when he says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers [and sisters!], whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” - James 1:2-4

Maybe we can never fully avoid Phase 4: Confusion, but perhaps seeing Phase 3: Chaos as a time of developing perseverance, maturity and completeness will give us the will and strength to make it to Phase 5: Conviction^2. Who knows, maybe we’ll eventually be able to press a button called Faith and take the elevator straight from Phase 3 to Phase 5. Just make sure you hold ‘Door Open’ or others who want to join you for the express ride.

Working in customer service is quite an experience. Each time the phone rings, there’s this sense of anticipation about who’s waiting on the other line. Is it a tech-savvy pro who has been programming since he or she could speak? Or a computer novice who needs to be reminded of the concept of double-clicking?

One customer that I spoke with last week will be forever-etched into my memory. We started off okay, exchanging hellos and how-are-yous. But then … dun dun dun … a very simple question led to a surprising reaction from the customer, where he then managed to call me a series of words and terms that I definitely can’t repeat here. I was stunned
but just shook it off. When I vented to some friends, I received an encouraging email affirming me that I was not a female canine, nor was I something that Santa says as he rides off in his sleigh, but that I was:

• God’s lovely child
• beautiful in every way
• worth more than I could possibly imagine
• cherished deeply

As I sat there gloating on my high horse about how I was so lovely, beautiful, worthy, and cherished, a soft voice in my head said, ‘So is he.’

‘Huh? So is who?’ I asked Soft Voice.

‘So is he, the one who called you those things this morning.’

Ouch. There it was - the dagger that blindsided me. The inescapable truth, that I really am no better than that customer who insulted me, and no less loved by the same Heavenly Father. While it was good to be
reminded of my true identity after being thrown insults and lies, what I really had to remember was that I share that identity with this person who had insulted me, and with everyone else that I come across
in my daily life.

What’s really funny, though, is when I rewind to two days before that unforgettable phone call: I had made a resolution at small group that I would love every customer I dealt with, and pray a blessing over the ones who were especially difficult to love.

So, here we go … (deep breath):

Lord, bless that customer. May he come to know his true identity in you. Transform his heart as you fill it with Your love, and transform his lips so that they will be filled with messages of love and truth to
others. Amen.