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I had the privilege of visiting HMCC of Austin a couple weekends ago because my husband spoke for their Missions Week Sunday.   I say privilege because it was exactly that!  

Let’s back track 12 years or so…

October 1996 was when I attended my first ACCESS at HMCC of Ann Arbor as a freshman in college.  We filled the first two rows of Angell Hall, Auditorium B.  I eventually joined the Welcoming Team, which is when I gained this weird sense of ownership of the church and made it my personal mission to make every person feel like they belonged here in our house of worship (a.k.a. various school auditoriums).  Since those early days of HMCC of Ann Arbor, I’ve slowly forgotten that child-like excitement of seeing God bring in people one by one into our church community.

Back to 2009…

As I was standing at the back of the movie theatre in Austin, I saw three people praying together for the service—one brother on the Austin team, one brother who recently came to accept Christ as his Savior and one brother visiting from Michigan.  Everyone else was checking the sound, setting up the projector or welcoming at the entrance.  As opening worship began, I saw people trickling in one by one, and I sensed that child-like excitement once again.  By the end of opening worship, there were two completely filled rows in that theatre.  At that moment, I had a brief glimpse into my freshman year when HMCC of Ann Arbor was very similar to this picture I was seeing before my eyes.   I felt as if God was saying: Remember my FAITHFULNESS, POWER and SOVEREIGNTY.  God will do great things at HMCC of Austin, just as he has at HMCC of Ann Arbor.  

Thank you, God, for giving me the privilege to see what You’re doing in Austin!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  – Ephesians 3:20-21

At a leader’s meeting this weekend, one of our church staff with a background in counseling (and one of our writers-Hannah) came to talk to the ladies about eating disorders. It is estimated that 10% of female college students suffer from an eating disorder, and that four of every five women in the U. S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. Even looking at these statistics makes me realize the value of equipping our female leaders about how to help themselves and others who struggle with this.

One thing mentioned in the talk was about how our culture and media is one of the etiologies of eating disorders. How true this is! There’s always talk of stars losing or gaining weight, with more applause for those who have lost weight. There’s a pressure to be thin and that being thin is beautiful.

The media recently have been pointing out Jessica Simpson’s weight gain. Looking at these pictures, she definitely doesn’t look like a stick and she doesn’t look fat or obese to me. I think she looks fine and wish the media would hold back comments on how heavier she looked.

Even Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, stood up for her daughter when the media took pictures of her in a bikini and made unkind comments about her daughter’s weight. The Duchess kept commenting that her daughter was “a healthy size 10″.

I do admit that the cultural and media influences are strong in how we view ourselves and others. But we must fight against those and other worldly influences and replace it with Biblcial truths. We can’t do it alone. We need the power of Jesus and the accountability from other sisters.

And rather than focusing on being a size 0, 2 or ?, I think the focus should be on being healthy as ladies.

Yesterday, as I listened to the inauguration and all the festivities associated with it on NPR on the way back from work, I was deeply moved by the incredible journey that this country has taken.  There was a sense of optimism, hope and genuine pride in this country that even I could sense leaking through the speakers in my car.

Even as a non-citizen and as an outsider of this country, I couldn’t help but be struck by this incredible turning point in history.  It was actually the first time I felt like being a US citizen!  Having grown up in Kenya for the first 17 years of my life and having been deeply sensitive to matters of inequality, prejudice and oppression in a global sense, I was moved by how it is so worth it to fight for something greater than myself.

Controversy aside, I am indeed thankful for the democractic process and am feeling more hopeful about seeing good government and good policy from this particular administration.  At the same time, I always return back to a timely truth that I’ve come to hold on to - the only institution that can truly change the world is the church.  Let’s roll up our sleeves and continue to fight for the things that are close to God’s heart.

Of course I mean in your relationship with God.

As the winter chill takes over our city, I’m reminded of the many Novembers when my growth in knowing God would plateau with the dropping temperatures.  It would subtly slip from being a relationship to becoming a routine.  But in recent years I’ve found the following tips have helped to keep my relationship with God alive:

1) Change up the setting now & then- I am a strong advocate of morning prayer, but sometimes it’s hard finding the time to journal and study the Word as much as I’d like during those times.  What has helped is to find a different place, a few times a week and later in the day, to focus only on journaling or in depth studying of the word that doesn’t fit during morning prayer.  My favorite spots at U of M: Grad Reading room, 6th floor of the stacks, facing the Law Quad. it’s especially beautiful in the late mornings.  Douglas Chapel in FCC. Espresso Royale right at 9am. And the Law Library reading room - late mornings are best. Also, having a warm cup of tea during these times would increase my anticipation for these occassions…a cozy time where I can cuddle up with God.

2) Take a vacation - not away from God, but with God.  I’ve done vacations in various ways and lengths.  One year I took monthly half day retreats to bookstores or waterfronts (weather permitting) to read and reflect.  The following year I took a week long hiking trip in Utah thanks to frequent flyer miles.  This winter I hope to take a road trip somewhere warm with a good friend.  I think we all know about the importance of taking personal retreats–but what has helped about these retreats was the commitment to set aside special times and experiences with God.  These are the rare opportunities where my time is unhurried, so rather than filling up my vacation with busyness in the form of entertainment, I make sure to set aside a few hours each day where I can read, pray, worship, study the word, journal, and take walks for reflection.

3) Use an aid -I’m surprised at how many women I know approach their daily personal times with God like a lottery; by just opening up to whatever part of the bible and reading the random passage of the day. I definitely don’t recommend this, since it doesn’t seem to be a strong approach to learning without some kind of thematical or chronological order.  I would strongly suggest using some kind of schedule or aid that would best fit our spiritual needs.  The Bible reading plan that we have at HMCC is great for those who have never read through the bible.  There are several resources out there for book studies or topical / thematic studies.  Here are my recommendations:

- Lifechange Study Series - in depth study of the books of the bible (one study per book).  One chapter can be very hefty to do on a daily basis, so I would recommend doing half a chapter a day, or using this once a week to supplement another plan

- Experiencing God  - I did the workbook version which might be hard to find today.  But this helped provide the structure, explanation, and thematic focus I needed to start off a daily devotional. It also helped me focus on my relationship, and not my routine, with God.

- Walk Thru the Bible - I am currently going through this a second time.  It covers the bible in a year, which can be daunting at times since I feel like I’m taking in so much in one day.  But occasionally I take one day a week to do a chapter of a lifechange series study so that I can regularly be digging deeper into a smaller portion of scripture.

4) Reflect on a regular basis - this has become, by far, the best thing I’ve done for my faith in the past year.  I used to be a journaling addict in college, but I lost that discpline after graduating.  I decided to pick it up again, and have made the commitment to journal on a daily basis…even if it’s only a few sentences.  This has been a great avenue to grow in my relationship with God because it allows me to listen for His voice at the end of the day.  This usually leads to daily repentance of all the thoughts, motives and actions that I realized were sinful.  And I either document these things as areas of prayer, or I journal an honest expression to God.  I’m also able to take note of any current anxieties that I can revisit in my prayer time throughout the week.  I also write down things I’m learning from my daily devotions, or verses that stick out to me during various church gatherings.  It’s like I’m having a spiritual spa every evening–releasing all my toxins and getting the nourishment I need.

5) Constantly Listen, and Constantly Give. As I’ve been getting into the habit of reflecting and journaling, a surprising result is the surplus of ideas that pop into my head.  There were several times when a person comes to mind because of a recent conversation or even because of the particular thought or topic I was meditating on.  I take that as a cue to listen to God, write down a reminder in my smartphone to do something about it that week, and find the time to do something small but encouraging for that person.  I would lift up a prayer, send an encouraging e card, give a phone call, or even send flowers.  Other times I would think of more than one person–but sometimes a whole family, a need in the church or even an idea for worship.  I’ve felt there’s been greater fruit in my life as I take the time to listen and consistently respond with giving. This has helped me to view my daily life, and my daily times with God, as being very purposeful.

Those are my five helpful hints for now…I hope it is able to help others in their walk with God!

There’s a certain threshold that a woman crosses when answering the dreaded question, “is there someone special in your life?” that requires a twenty minute explanation detailing the reasons for which you are dangerously close to turning thirty and thus headed towards old-maiden land.  That threshold is crossed by some single women earlier than others depending on whether or not they have more eyes watching them or more expectations placed on them.  Eventually however, all single women will cross that threshold and realize that being single is no longer an item that you check off on official documents, but a state of being that needs to be cured or corrected immediately.

Not only is there external pressure to find a mate, but there is also the internal pressure where the Older Single Woman (O.S.W) realizes that she is alone whilst almost everyone and their friends appear to be headed towards wedded bliss, and that she wants very much to start her own family and raise her own kids.  With that in mind, when asked the question, are you still single, the O.S.W finds herself attaching more to her answer - “yes, but…” and proceeds to detail that she is single because of a, b and c reasons. Somehow wired into the deep recesses of our human minds, being “single” means that you are “deficient” in some way or the other.  This feeling of deficiency increases with time and granted that many O.S.W’s are incredibly successful in career and fruitful in ministry, they are discontent and deeply unhappy about their lack of significant other.

The reality is that when we meet an O.S.W, particularly in the church context, we think to ourselves - “I wonder whether she is just too picky? Too strong in personality? Isn’t trying hard enough?  Called to be single?” And though we tend to admire the single woman for many important traits, we still think to ourselves (if we are younger sisters), “I hope I don’t end up like that!”

I’m thankful for the apostle Paul, who gave credence to the single person in his letter to the Corinthians.  He said in 1 Cor 7:34-35 - “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Can you believe that the Bible actually has something to say to the O.S.W?  He’s saying that it’s fine to be an unmarried woman who is concerned about the Lord’s affairs.  The principle here is that being single is not the same as being deficient.  By including this one teaching in the text, single people are given credibility and acceptance in the local church context.

As an O.S.W myself, I understand very deeply (believe me), that the issue of finding the right spouse is not as simple as merely remaining focused/devoted to the Lord’s work until the “sent-one” approaches me.  There’s a lot more complexity to the situation than that.  For instance, there are things that I need to do, such as work on myself as a person, grow in my own walk with Christ, overcome negative perceptions on relationships and let go of unrealistic expectations and a prideful sense of entitlement.  That is a discussion for my next entry. Before I get carried away however, one thing I think must remain clear in the mind of every O.S.W is that being single is not synonymous with being deficient.  Let’s not allow ourselves to think and operate according to this distortion, but in fact, see that there is a place for us in the church and in our worlds as a single person…even if it requires a twenty minute explanation as to why we are still single.

Last year, a girl was caught pretending to be a student at Stanford.  You can read the story here.  What was really interesting about the story was that this young lady was able to play the role of a Stanford student so convincingly that she was able to get away with it, whilst living in the dorms and pretending to take midterms, for eight months!  Imagine what it would take to construct an entire identity around something that was not true.  You would first have to somehow, justify in your mind that it is ok to lie.  Next you would have to actually begin to believe that you are the person you are pretending to be.  Finally, you would have to figure out the system and keep track of your lies in order to hold the whole act together.  This is just too much work!  Underneath it all, if we were to do the cost benefit analysis, this young lady ended up desiring so much to be something that she was not that she was willing to pay the steep price.  This just reflects how deeply her desire went.  Without speculating too much on the causes for her behavior, I wonder if there was a deep fear attached to her longing.  Perhaps she was so fearful to be exactly who she was and who she thought others would perceive her to be as a ”Stanford reject”, that she was willing to go the distance in constructing her fake identity.

We all suffer some kind of duplicity in our own lives.  I know I do!  It takes a lot of energy to maintain an image.  This goes back to my own fears related to acceptance and safety.  In the end however, I think the price for maintaining a self-constructed identity as opposed to being who God created you to be in His image, is too steep a price to pay.

I’m reminded of the story in “The Dawn Treader”, the fifth book of the Narnia series, where Eustace Scrubb becomes a dragon due to some foolish choices that he makes.  Later, he is unable to scrape his dragon scales off by himself because the scales have become such a part of his body.  Only Aslan is able to scrape off the scales and restore Eustace back into his original state.  It is only when we allow our Creator to clear off whatever “dragon scales” we have accumulated in our lives, that we are able to become who He intended us to be.  It is a painful process as is described by C.S. Lewis, that requires us to allow the sharpness of God’s Truth to cut away the lies and duplicity.  This is a story of redemption and restoration.