Girl Matters

I participated in Habitat for Humanity last weekend with some friends
and single adults from our church's Focus community.

We were sodding (a.k.a. putting sheets of grass onto a new lawn). Sounds easy, right?
ha ha haaa.....

So what 'sodding' really means is:
1) Walk through a mud pit and pick out all the brick, clay, wood, rock debris that was left by the old demolished house.
2) Shovel dirt throughout the whole lawn.
3) Rake and spread the top soil evenly.
4) Lay sheets of grass in lines across the lawn.
And for extra bonus fun, pick a hot, humid, sunny June day.

Bottom line: it was hard work! By the end, though, I felt like I was
on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It was incredible seeing the
transformation of the house from the beginning to the end.

As I was thinking back to the day, I realized that there were some life illustrations that came out of the day. Here are a few:

#1: Shake off the muck if you want to move
Before we laid the grass, we had to clear out brick, wood, clay, and
rocks from the lawn. We had to trek through wet mud and clay to pick up
the pieces. Every step I took, more mud/clay stuck to my shoes, and
after 3 steps, I basically couldn't pick up my feet because the muck
was so heavy. Unless I shook off the excess muck that was weighing me
down, I wasn't going to get anywhere.

#2: Cover-up is only a temporary fix
As nasty as it was to clear out the muck, it was the most important
part. If we just laid the top soil and grass on top of the
brick/wood/clay/rocks, the grass would not be able to take root, and it
would die quickly. We couldn't just cover up the junk with the grass;
we had to clean the yard out so that healthy grass could grow.

#3: Help Helps
My friend and coworker Sarah and I were working on one side of the
lawn by ourselves for half of the morning. It was taking forever and
there was no end in sight - until we reached the back lawn, where there
was an army of other people to work together with. Things went about
ten times faster from that point on.

#4: If dirt and discomfort is inevitable, embrace it
When we started laying the grass, I realized the dirt and grass from
the sheets lands all over you. At one point, Sarah looked at me and
said, 'You're not dirty enough,' at which point I hugged the sheet and
smeared grass and dirt on my face. I have to say, it was a lot more fun
when I accepted the discomfort of the task and embraced it (literally)!

#5: It's all worth it in the end

Need I say more?

I remember back in middle and high school, I was a floater. I mingled with the intellectual nerds of the school paper, spent hours a week with the lacrosse jocks, was loosely affiliated with the 'cool' kids through a childhood friend, and found refuge at my parent's church with other Korean American teenagers. I came to college wondering if I would ever find true friends who would know me
(the good, the bad, and the ugly), accept me, and last beyond college.

I thank God because He provided more than I asked. Pardon my nostalgia, but I wanted to share about one friend in particular.

My first encounter with Rachel was freshman year, when my older sister
invited her to our apartment for dinner. I remember thinking, "She's
one of those goody-two-shoe Christian girls that my sister is reaching
out to." I didn't stick around for that dinner.

The next couple years we saw each other from afar at various church
gatherings. Then, junior year we both started serving as small group
leaders, and were put together as accountability partners. And the
rest is history.

We continued as accountability partners for the next 6 years, and then lived together as roommates for a year. Over that time, we went through highs, lows,
and really-really lows. I experienced true vulnerability as I
confessed (for the first time to a friend) insecurities about my self
image, family, future, and relationships, and listened to her open
up her life to me as well.

We struggled through college graduation, job-searching, life-purpose-searching. We became partners at work as we tried to start a school together. I
blind-carbon-copied (bcc'ed) her when I emailed that boy that I liked
so that she could monitor for excessive smileys and subliminal
messages.

We've dreamed, kayaked, prayed, hot-tubbed, made late-night trips to kinkos, traveled abroad to Canada for dim sum together.

And as she leaves to take part in a church plant in Austin, Texas, I'm
thankful because I'm certain that God has brought us together as
sisters in Christ, friends and partners in Kingdom work - not only in
the past, but wherever He takes us in the future.

And it all started with a simple prayer, back at the beginning of college:
"God, please provide a true friend who will walk with me for the length
of this journey."

I knew he was coming late Tuesday night, as I was battling a sore
throat and headache. The corner of my mouth felt irritated and was turning
pink. I searched my apartment for Neosporin and applied 3 coats...but
all to no avail. The next morning I woke up and there he was... my new
friend, Mr. Cold Sore.

It's funny what happens to us when 'friends' make their homes on our
faces, whether they come in the form of zits, pimples, coldsores, or
even bedsheet lines from an intensive nap-fest. We avoid eye contact,
change the way our hair is parted so that we create the magical
'concealing curtain,' plop on a hat, or put on 3 extra coats of
makeup. Or, we might even try to dress up the rest of ourselves so
that all attention is away from our face and fixed on the stunning
leopard-skin stiletos.

But what really bothered me was the very fact that the coldsore
bothered me. (Does that make sense?) Here I am, telling other people
not to worry about their appearance because 'it's the inner beauty that
matters, and as long as we know our identity in God, we can be completely secure, yadda yadda yadda.' But when my friend comes and makes his loud appearance, I want to dim the lights in the room and play 'hide-and-don't-seek.' I couldn't help but think, why am I so insecure about my appearance and people's perception of me?

It's sobering moments like this that help me see that I haven't really come as
far as I'd like. Every day, I'm constantly susceptible to the same old insecurities that I've overcome in the past, and every day I have to claim God's truth and stand with full confidence in the spiritual identity and physical body He has given me. So the next time you see me with a friend-infested face, please make sure I'm not sporting a new hairstyle and leopard-skin stiletos.

We recently had a multicultural cook-off at work, where we brought in
dishes from different cultures. I committed to bringing an Indonesian
dish, so the night before the contest I was searching online for
recipes. The problem is, all the recipes involved ingredients that I'd
never heard of, and probably wouldn't find at 11PM in the international
section of Kroger. But then, I finally found the winner: Lapis Legit,
or "Thousand Layer Cake."

The thing with this cake is that I'd never made it, seen it, or tasted it before. I'd never even heard of the spices that went into it: Anise Seed? Cardamon???

You're also supposed to literally babysit it. You
bake it one layer at a time, taking the cake out of the oven every 2
minutes to add another layer.

And the biggest risk is that I wouldn't get to taste or even slice the
thing until the actual time of the contest. I was just taking Rita for
her word that this really was an amazing recipe. (Rita's the woman who
submitted the recipe online. Come to think of it, Rita doesn't sound
like a native Indonesian name. Hmmm...)

What I learned about doing something I've never done before is that it
REALLY helped to stick to the recipe - to follow each measurement,
ingredient, and step, word for word. Despite it being my first time, as
long as I had faith in Rita and the instructions that she gave, I was
confident that I wouldn't poison anyone.

Lately there are a lot of things that God is calling me, and people
around me, to do for the first time ever - things that we've never done
before, things that involve risks and give no guarantees. I realized
that if we just follow the instructions God has given us in His 'recipe
book' (a.k.a. the Bible) and have full confidence in the author (God,
not Rita), we can have peace and confidence along the unpaved way.

Oh yeah, whatever happened with the Lapis Legit? It won 1st place!

Someone recently asked me, "What is conviction?"

Thankfully I had just taken a bite of my Hawaiian chicken sandwich, so I had about 20 seconds (or 30 bites + 2 sips of Diet Coke) to craft an answer to
this loaded question.

Of course there is no simple answer, but as our conversation
progressed, the definition that emerged is that conviction is something
that we will lay everything down for, and is based on core values that
we will not compromise, no matter what the cost or consequence. We also
discussed how convictions are meant to be tested, and will undoubtedly
be tested.

Since that conversation, I've been reflecting on the various times that
God challenged me to follow 'conviction' over the years, whether it was
decisions about my major, church, career, city of residence, family,
relationships, or future. I began to notice that there's a clear
pattern that emerges, almost without fail, each time there is a new
conviction. I've outlined this pattern below, and I've called it the Life Cycle of Conviction.

The Life Cycle of Conviction
Phase 1: Conviction^1 - A conviction is born, accepted, and embraced.
Phase 2: Calm - Everything is smooth sailing: the skies are blue, the grass
is green, the waves are gently lapping against the shore. Life is
peachy.
Phase 3: Chaos - Suddenly, without warning, the storm clouds
roll in. This phase may look different for everyone: it may come in the
form of uncontrollable circumstances, interrogations from family,
criticisms from friends, etc.
Phase 4: Confusion - In the midst of Chaos, the conviction that was
conceived in Phase 1 is questioned: was it a lapse of judgment, an
emotional outburst, a product of brainwashing?
Phase 5: Conviction^2 - Conviction that survives through Chaos and Confusion reemerges: deepened, purified, strengthened.

The funny thing is, we tend to get surprised by Phase 3: Chaos, which
is why we find ourselves wandering into Phase 4: Confusion. As I was
thinking about this Life Cycle of Conviction, though, I realized that
Phase 3: Chaos shouldn't be such a surprise.

The Apostle James writes about this when he says, "Consider it pure
joy, my brothers [and sisters!], whenever you face trials of many
kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops
perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be
mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4

Maybe we can never fully avoid Phase 4: Confusion, but perhaps seeing Phase 3: Chaos as a time of developing perseverance, maturity and completeness will give us the will and strength to make it to Phase 5: Conviction^2. Who knows, maybe we'll eventually be able to press a button called Faith and take the elevator
straight from Phase 3 to Phase 5. Just make sure you hold 'Door Open'
for others who want to join you for the express ride.

Working in customer service is quite an experience. Each time the phone
rings, there's this sense of anticipation about who's waiting on the
other line. Is it a tech-savvy pro who has been programming since he or she could speak? Or a computer novice who needs to be reminded of the
concept of double-clicking?

One customer that I spoke with last week will be forever-etched into my
memory. We started off okay, exchanging hellos and how-are-yous. But
then ... dun dun dun ... a very simple question led to a surprising
reaction from the customer, where he then managed to call me a series
of words and terms that I definitely can't repeat here. I was stunned
but just shook it off. When I vented to some friends, I received an
encouraging email affirming me that I was not a female canine, nor was
I something that Santa says as he rides off in his sleigh, but that I
was:

• God's lovely child
• beautiful in every way
• worth more than I could possibly imagine
• cherished deeply

As I sat there gloating on my high horse about how I was so lovely, beautiful, worthy, and cherished, a soft voice in my head said, 'So is he.'

'Huh? So is who?' I asked Soft Voice.

'So is he, the one who called you those things this morning.'

Ouch. There it was - the dagger that blindsided me. The inescapable truth,
that I really am no better than that customer who insulted me, and no
less loved by the same Heavenly Father. While it was good to be
reminded of my true identity after being thrown insults and lies, what
I really had to remember was that I share that identity with this
person who had insulted me, and with everyone else that I come across
in my daily life.

What's really funny, though, is when I rewind to two days before that
unforgettable phone call: I had made a resolution at small group that I
would love every customer I dealt with, and pray a blessing over the
ones who were especially difficult to love.

So, here we go ... (deep breath):

Lord, bless that customer. May he come to know his true identity in
you. Transform his heart as you fill it with Your love, and transform
his lips so that they will be filled with messages of love and truth to
others. Amen.