Girl Matters

I enjoyed growing up in a family as the only girl with three brothers. After the death of my parents, our relationships grew closer and stronger. With two of them living in Chicago, I always look forward to my visits with them and their families. And since my kids are on summer vacation, our family was able to visit them recently.

I, especially, enjoyed the time with my youngest brother and his family. He has a 1.5 year old son and another child on the way. Seeing him grow as a husband and now as a father has been a blessing to me.

I still remember the time he came into college as a freshmen, and being the older sister who was known to constantly offer advice and nit pick on what he was and was not doing, we had come to a point in our older sister/younger brother relationship where he decided to put his foot down and told me to back off in his sweet way. Ouch...that hurt!

I had realized what he was trying to say to me (even before that incident but I just wasn't listening carefully enough) was to give him some room to mature and make his own decisions in life. Since then I have seen him grow as a person, a husband and now a father. I've also seen how my younger brother played the older brother role at various times in my life.

I'm praying that I will be able to give my sons the ample room they need for God to grow them as godly men, husbands and fathers one day. And whether we are a sister, wife, mother or friend, we play an important role in helping the guys in our lives to grow as godly men.

My youngest brother and his family with our family

My eldest brother and his wife and our kids

A couple of weeks ago, my son chose to go see Prince Caspian for his birthday. As we were walking into the movie theater, I noticed a very long line outside, then inside the theater. As I was wondering what movie the line was for, I noticed that every single person waiting in line was a female. What was the reason for the gathering of all these women? It was to watch, Sex And The City!

Although I haven't seen the movie yet, I have viewed a couple of SATC episodes on television. (And with anything we view, we should understand what we watch with a biblical worldview, rather than a secular worldview.) I can't say for certain why each of the women were in line to watch the movie, but I can see how one aspect of the movie can be a draw for women.

The friendships that the four SATC women share is pretty special. You see the commitment, love and fun they share together in spite of what each one of them goes through.

I think as we get older, whether single or married, friendships we have with other women are so important. Many things will come up in our lives, whether the struggles of singlehood, broken relationships with the opposite sex, the pains of a divorce, a miscarriage, and the list goes on. In the midst of all these things, we see how friendships are a gift to us to support us through those moments.

I hope we can evaluate the friendships we have with other sisters to see if they are Christ-centered and edifying. Our friendships should be filled with listening, encouraging, admonishing and praying for one another. I know I'm thankful for the friends in my life!

Every year, my husband always makes sure that our kid's have a gift to present to me on Mother's Day. Even though I appreciated a box of one of my favorite chocolates this past Mother's Day, I was more thankful for the gift of some words my oldest son shared during the children's presentation at church.

My son wrote a letter thanking me for being a great mom and listing why he thinks I am a great mom. I was surprised and overwhelmed at how specific he was. He read those words in front of the church and I sat in my seat listening with tears welling up in my eyes.

As a mom, not only do I feel I fall short many times because of poor decisions I make, but there are times when I wonder if what I'm doing is making a difference in the lives of my children. I don't do things for my kids so that they will acknowledge me (although it does feel nice once in a while), but it is because I love them that I accept the daily routines of life in caring for them. In the midst of the daily routines, year after year, it's a challenge to be faithful in all that I do, whether big or small, trusting that God will bear good fruit in the lives of my children.

My son's words encouraged and reminded me to keep being faithful each day because I don't realize whose lives the Lord can touch through me.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58

I'm sure many of us, if not all, have heard of Oprah Winfrey and the impact she is making around the world. Not only do millions of viewers watch her show, but she has other mediums of influencing people with her thoughts and values. I sometimes think about the impact she can make for the Kingdom of God if she was a Christ-follower. But, even if we are not to the level of Oprah, I was reminded of how we can still make an impact for the Kingdom of God from a recent Oprah Show.

A few weeks ago on the show, two families came on to share their stories about the mistaken identity case which occurred a couple of years ago. The daughters of the two families, along with other students and staff from their university in Indiana, were involved in a tragic car crash. Whitney Cerak, one of the daughters, initially believed to have been one of five people killed in the crash, actually survived. Laura Van Ryn, the daughter of the other family on the show, was thought to have survived the crash, but was actually dead. The Cerak family had believed their daughter was dead, while the Van Ryn family believed their daughter was fighting for her life in the hospital. After about five weeks in the hospital, the Van Ryn's came to the realization that the girl in the hospital was not their daughter.

Can you imagine what might have been going on in the hearts and minds of both family members?

On the show, rather than sharing about any anger, bitterness or frustration with all that they went through with the mix-up, it was so encouraging to hear the families share about how their faith in Jesus Christ got them through everything. Imagine the millions of people watching and hearing, along with Oprah Winfrey, about Jesus Christ and the impact He had made in the lives of these families!

It was definitely a challenge to me to be a verbal and visible witness of Jesus Christ to those around me, because you never know who will be watching and listening in.

Just when I thought I made it through this winter without a serious illness,
I came down with the flu this past week. I was bedridden for a couple of days,
with my home run by my husband! In all honesty, my husband did a great job
taking care of me, the kids and the home. Although, my oldest son and I had a
good laugh at how the laundry was folded :)

In the past, when I saw the signs of a cold or flu sneaking up on me, I
would try and exercise, eat better and sleep more. I believe that's how I made
it through most of the winter free of illnesses. However, with a lot going on
in the past couple of weeks, it was easy to ignore those same signs. Thus, my
body just crashed. I don't remember the last time I felt so miserable.

Not only are there signs letting us know of an oncoming physical illness,
but I realize there are signs that can also tell us when we are becoming
spiritually unhealthy. In our daily busyness, it becomes easy to crowd out
needed times with the Lord. Either we skip our time with the Lord or we spend
that time too quickly without real meditation on God and His Word. Then, the
next day it gets easier for it to happen again, until some days and weeks, but
hopefully not months and years, pass by. In that time, do you ever notice the
signs telling us that we are not spending quality, needed time with the Lord
and being filled with His presence?

We might begin to complain more, lose our patience, have a negative
attitude, be less forgiving, be more curt with people...I'm sure we can add to
the list. These are signs telling us that we might need to slow down or stop in
our daily lives to make sure we are staying spiritually healthy and strong.

Psalm 1 reminds us that we will be like a tree planted by streams of water,
bearing fruit and not withering when we delight and meditate day and night on the law of the Lord.

My son (a 2^nd grader) and I attended a funeral recently. One of his classmate’s mother had unexpectedly passed away several days ago. The news of her death affected our school community and the classmates of her children (2^nd & 3^rd graders). Her passing reminded me once again of the brevity and the important things of life, and made me miss my own mom who passed away years ago.

At the funeral service, the pastor called all the children up front for a brief talk. Since many of the 2^nd and 3^rd graders from the school came out to support the two girls and her family, the front area was full with young children. The pastor shared about the two dates written on the program. The first date was when the mom was born. Those who don't believe in Jesus know that the second date is when the mom died. But, for Christians, we know that the second date is when her life began in heaven, the eternal home. The time from her birth to her life in heaven is "the years in-between".

That phrase, “the years in-between” caught my attention. It reminded me once again that my home on earth is temporary and that I am just passing through. It made me evaluate if I was making myself too comfortable on this earth, knowing that it will all pass away one day. It also made me evaluate to see what I was doing with “the years in-between” until I reach my eternal home.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:2

I was reminded of the importance of passing on stories and testimonies to
future generations recently when I attended my fifth grader's heritage day
presentation at school. I had such a great time listening to the student's
stories, and looking at their scrapbooks (talk a/b the difference b/t the boy’s
and girl’s scrapbooks!) and family heirlooms.

Listening to the student's share, you could tell there was a general feeling
of thankfulness for the stories (funny and serious) that were passed down from
their parents, grandparents and ancestors. There was one girl who was a direct
descendant of William Dawes Jr., one of the riders (you will probably be more
familiar with Paul Revere, the other rider) who alerted the colonial minutemen
of the approach of British troops at the outset of the American Revolution.
There were also several children who had bibles that were passed down from
their ancestors from the 1800's. Not only were they thankful and proud of their
heritage, but they especially enjoyed the stories that were passed down to
them.

Driving home from the heritage presentation, I recalled how God told the
Israelites to teach about what God had done for them to their children and to
the generations that follow (Deuteronomy 4:9) so that they will not forget, but
always remember the Lord and to follow in His ways. I began to think about my
own children and younger sisters and brothers in the faith and was challenged
on various fronts:

• Do I live my life in such a way that there are testimonies of God's love and faithfulness to share about?
• Do my stories direct their attention to God or to earthly things?
• Do my testimonies encourage them to love and obey God?

I hope you, too, will take time to reflect on what you are passing on to the
next generation.

My fifth grader is the second one from the left.