A Movie Review

He's Just Not That Into You

I’ve been meaning to provide a brief crtique of a recent movie:  “He’s Just Not That Into You” (emphasis on the not!).  The premise of the movie is the notion that women are sadly ignorant of a man’s true intentions.  As a result of misinterpretation and misguided mind reading, the women in the movie end up either choosing the wrong men to be with or getting very hurt by the men they love.  Furthermore, the underlying theme is that women have been conditioned to believe that there is no possible way that a man they are attracted to could possibly not be into them.

I enjoyed this movie a lot!  It was a little painful to watch the main characters go through humiliating experience after another, but in general, it was humorous, entertaining and relatable.  It often teetered on the edge of becoming a little too cruel to one gender or the other - either painting women as being clueless or men being lousy/committmentphobic, but thankfully didn’t fall into either extreme.

One thing the movie did a good job of highlighting was the extremes in which some women will go to believing that a guy is into them even if they have made it explicitly clear that they are not.  I thought it was a relevant commentary on the tendency for women to hold onto their illusion that something could work out with a guy, when clearly all the signals are suggesting otherwise.   I think we all know at least one woman who has fallen into this cycle of not being able to move on in their lives because they believe that a guy is into them, even when his behavior shows otherwise.

All this being said, I’d like to insert an additional thought about this whole concept.  Actually, it’s more of a question - why is it that some women let men in their lives treat them so poorly?    I find it very painful to see women consistently go back to relationships which are clearly toxic or harmful to them.  Sadly, this maladaptive pattern tends to happen more often than not in a woman’s life.  Not to say that those who are in such relationships will somehow be liberated by simply getting the fact that he may not be into her, but there is some value to considering that they will be mistreated for as long as they believe that his poor behavior towards her is in some twisted way a sign of affection or love.  I think the movie did a good job of highlighting this concept - that affection and love is accompanied by action and if that action is hurtful then its a good indicator that he’s just not that into you and it’s time to move on.