The Counseling Room

*Originally posted on 2/19/2008

Ever since I started interning at a certain college counseling center, I’ve been asked what it’s like to counsel other people “professionally.” I first joke that I have no idea what I’m doing and that I’ve had to learn to keep my face neutral even when I’m hearing some pretty shocking stories. Here’s what really happens, I’ll make sure that there are no distractions in the room – I’ll turn off my phone, turn off the computer, unclutter my desk, make sure that there’s enough kleenex, fluff up the pillows on the couch and then finally, when everything is ready, I’ll usher the student who is in need of counseling into the room. Once they are in the room, I tell them to make themselves comfortable on the larger couch. I’ll close the door to ensure privacy and settle myself down to listen. Listening has taken on an entirely new meaning for me. I’m not just hearing words and phrases now, I’m listening for clues indicating pain, loss, anger, fear and other undercurrents of emotion. I’m also listening to the Holy Spirit and trying to tune into what it is that He wants to say or do in the person’s life. I have to make sure that my own personal issues or my concerns about what I’m going to eat for lunch that day are not distracting me and give the person in front of me the gift of my time, presence, attention and counsel. I have to ask God for the capacity to be able to provide hope for those who are despairing, comfort for those who are grieving, truth for those who are deceived and the hardest part, faith to be able to release each person back out into the world of their problems, choices and heartaches.

I have never been more aware of the fallenness of humanity and the reality of sin than I have in the counseling room. Whether it is suffering through the consequences of poor choices or whether it is because of the reality of biological disposition, pain and the reaction to this pain are the most common themes that I am confronted with. I’m reminded of Jesus’ reaction as he looked out into the crowds – “Seeing the people, he felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36 NASB). The word “compassion” really stands out to me. The Greek word is “splagchnizomai” and it means “to be moved as to one’s bowels.” In other words, it means - to be moved so deeply internally that you feel it in your bowels; kind of a graphic description! I believe that true healing takes place, not just in the counseling room, but in any setting where this kind of compassion is expressed and experienced. So whether I am in the counseling room with a student or whether I’m grocery shopping together with someone, I pray that I will be able to have even a small portion of Christ’s splagchnizomai for the other person.